The Kennel Kernel

This weekend there is a reunion of the leaving year of '81 at my old school. I have just learnt that there will be an inter house quiz down memory lane. So I've made some suggestions for some questions....read on.

Quiz

What year was the Great Porn Amnesty?
do you know I can't quite remember. That's a good start. Everyone else should though. I think it would have been 5th form. Although for some reason I thought it was in the 70s. Ho hum.

What was Mash's question to the assembly in Gavin Hall?
stand up any boy who has seen any pornography recently?

Who was the 1st person to comply?
The big 6th form bloke from School house (James?) who sprang out of his seat to military attention. Might have been a prefect as well!

Who profited most from these events & how?
Mash' own son, who nicked the best ones from the bonfire

What event & who caused the entire Amnesty in the 1st place?
Mr Whiteman catching Tim Mannings in his French class with a humdinger of a mag under his desk Might have featured Long Dong somebody, or it might have been the one with, em a horse. Either once seen-never forgotten.

I'm sure you have far more illustrious questions than that, but should be good for a giggle.

oh-what breed of dogs did Mr Merryman & Brian Lonnon have?
Afghan Hound & a fat Labrador (Henry)

alternatively which dog was most like his master?
Mr Merriman, whose Afghan Hound was as aristocratic & aloof as he was! (don't get me wrong-I was very fond of Minty & very greatful for an excellent grounding from him)

Who had motorbikes?
Wally, Wiggo, Ian Kerr, David Dames & Jerry Baker (who eventually had the biggest one of them all). I think I've forgotten someone here. Did Baggo have one?? Peter Booth!

What was painted on the bonnet of Brick's black Ford Capri & who did it?
A 'trans-am' eagle & his wife did it.

Which master has the most internet stories about him?
Mr Watson-of chemistry & Junior House. They are also hilarious & every year has them!

What was booboo Baines's end of term trick?
Showing the class what an amazing memory he had (might need more detail on that. IIRC it was about numbers & mnemomics)

What was the summer game 'unique' to Junior House?
Puddex. (see bottom of page 4 http://sternians.org/files/Nov2009Link.pdf )

Bit personal this one (but he was legendary for this kind of thing) Whose logic went 'if a 50cc motorbike can do 50mph, & a 100cc one can do 100mph then does that mean a 1000cc can do...?
The lovely & irrespressible Simon Timms!

Which master played impressionable juniors filthy musical rounds of the fruitier type of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales & was reduced to utilise all his prodigious talent & the then new & expensive electronic organ in the Gavin Hall so he could play the same insistent juniors the theme from Star Wars?
Bernie 'Elton' Newman!

2 esp for the dinner guests:
Which master also related dirty old (classical) tales & was more than adept at updating the language for a modern audience?
RTD (& then she climbed over me, bustled up her skirts & pissed (staled was the original word) long & hard on my face!) Ask him what that story was!

Which master encompassed French colouring in sheets, creation myths & a memorable visit from the Samaritans which resulted in perplexed teenagers in days of pre-coed having to deal with a phonecall from a desparate woman whose baby would not stop crying?
Robin Craig (& I think put it into a microwave or a blender might have been one offered option. It was a time for such 'jokes' I'll take the 5th on that one!)

What did you have to do if you were nicked by Wiggo?
Pick stones out of his garden.

What did Concord teach?
Art. Sometimes!

Who taught us what in the highest & stuffiest room in the school block?
Charlie Hallows & Geography. Best daydreaming window ever!

Who taught us PE at the start?
Johnny Webb (IIRC)

Which short in stature sadist got his job?
Pitprop!

What dd Doc Watson teach?
History! (chem was the other Watty)

What "team event" so nearly happened one night at the CCF camp in Folkestone?
We challenged another school (who had had enough of our repetition of the muppet song) to a bit of a scrap & someone (Andy Wilson) removed all the chains securing the rifles & distributed them about. It was a no-show on the field by the other lot, which was just as well!

What musical did we all do in the 1st year & where did we all sit?
Joseph & on top on the entrance to the back of the stage in the Gavin Hall-Health & Safety would have had a fit!
You could get them all to try & do the hand jive & award points for the best one. LWC Strictly eh?!

Who got the most rakings when Wally emptied the lost property box at the far end of the changing rooms at Junior House?
Berywn-followed very closely by his bro Daniel.

Whose shampoo coated most surfaces in Haslevere 5th form dorm, nicely dusted with 1/2 tonne of washing powder just before we all had to toddle off & sit an O level?
Andy Perry's! The 4th form said that Mr Whibley popped in, saw the trashed dorm, fetched some other masters & lay in wait. However, immediately after the exam we returned straight there & cleared the whole thing up in about 5 minutes. Apparently the expression on Mr W's face was priceless when he burst in to 'have words'.

2 pages, not sides, narrow lined A4, in black ink, bought to me before assembly tomorrow morning. Any argument & it's doubled. Who?
Brian Lonnon-& if you were silly enough to do it blue you got to do it all again! Berywn..


For Group Discussion:
What was yer fav General Film? & best end of term production by any year & which master had the best/most apposite nickname?

Which Master(s) was(were) worthy of the Most Sarcastic Bastard Ever award?
Jerry Baker for sheer quantity, but Brian Lonnon had an occasional neat & devestating line in it.

Nominations for the biggest troublemakers in our year?
Steve Brabant from me. A late arrival, but man did he make up for it the minute punk arrived!

Whose gone onto the most unlikely career out of us all?
Could be myself, but David Stroud as a Customs Officer made me giggle when I heard about it! Hope he has the last laugh!

Which master had the sexiest wife?! (now if that doesn't get them going..)

Oh yeah-you gotta end on a group Manna Mana!
The Muppets: Mah Na Mah Na - Children in Need 2011 The Best Bits - YouTube


BTW will any of you be off to Sutton & if so what time? May I tag along & see my girl up there?!

Finally, time to be serious I feel. If you do an absent friends I'd like to say a little prayer for those of us, & who we knew, that haven't made it this far. JPW springs straight to mind. So young. Also I'm not quite sure if Mr Smooth (DD) & Peter Seelig (who I reckon was the most interesting one of the lot) are still with us. The internet is oddly absent, although I did see a cached Sternians webpage page about some cartoons "commemorating" them, which rather suggests that they aren't. RIP if that is the case & thanks for the memories from two real individuals. If there was something of a scandal I'm not sure that I want to know.
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Also & possibly not an easy way to work this in, but I'm positive I read in one of the mags/newsletters that LWC so kindly send out the text of a remarkabley eloquent, mature & deeply moving speech given by a leaving Foundationer that year. Possibly the finest thing I've read about how important that system is. And it's also proving very difficult to find-I know there's the issue of anonymity but if anything is likely to get people to give, IMO, it is that.

And the below deserves wider recognition for obv reasons. Matthew was 1999-2004 Sutton House.
The Matthew Elvidge Trust | Welcome

As Ever

Paul