MrFictions Playpen Of Doom

From my earliest memories, I always wanted to be a Racing Driver.

Well, that and a Bounty Hunter – and as I’ve been a Surveillance Operative/P.I. I’ve pretty much covered that one. But didn’t get to shoot Bad Guys.

After riding sportsbikes for 12 years, and having blogged about the bike trackdays, you’d be forgiven for expecting me to be banging on about getting my bike racing license ...

No, this isn’t a blog about Tulisa getting slapped in the face with a cock in her sex video – this is about the beatiful exhileration that is scraping your knee on a bike.

Normally, all you get is a split second of scraping as you take the corner, and then you’re back up again. If this was your first touchdown at this point you’ll be marvelling at just how LOUD the scraping of plastic on ...

Chompy is a secret pet of mine, that I've had and trained for months.

Most of you will know that I hate spiders. That's ok, because they hate me right back. If I see them they die. If they're too bif to stamp on or whack with a rolled-up Bromsgrove Standard, then they get shot with my air pistol.

This war has been going on for years.

I did allow a small spider ...

I’ve had my Vibram FiveFingers KSO now for just over a year. I know a lot of you had questions about them, such as were they a fad, are they any good, and don’t you feel silly in them.

If anything, my views on them are even stronger than when I first got them. Look down at your bare feet. Have a walk around.

Now put your shoes on and look again. It’s not right, is it? Have ...

Taking calls from members of The Public all day long has its rewards. When you help some nice old lady you can get a genuine warm fluffy feeling inside.

When that little old lady is screeching at you unintelligibly, however, things aren’t quite so rosy.

So here I will give you a few tips that you can try when you have to call up a company so that they are less likely to want to grab you by the eyelids, swing you around and smash your stupid face into the edge of a ...