MrFictions Playpen Of Doom

Usually when I wake up on a work day, I'll stagger around Zombie-style, doing the bare minimum I have to before jumping on my bike and going to work.

Lately, I've been (sometimes) getting up a little bit earlier and eating a breakfast for the first time in years, and whilst chomping away, I've found myself getting sucked into that TV Hell that is GMTV or the other breakfast TV shows.

And ever single morning, just about every single thing they say puts me straight into Rant Mode!

I'm sure it's not just me being a grumpy old volatile psychopath until I get on my bike. It's giving me lots of blog ideas, anyway!

This morning the main topic was that old chestnut - The Disappearance of Madeleine McCann.

Apparently, the latest theory is that she woke up to find herself alone in her room, and left the apartment most likely to go and find her 'parents'. Then some sick bastard had her away.

I don't know if you noticed that part where it says about her waking up alone. On holiday. In a foreign country.

I'm sure by now most of you know my feelings about this case, but my judgement has changed a bit lately.

Yes, now I've eaten in a Tapas Restaurant, I can fully understand why they'd fuck their young kids off and enjoy their meal, because the food really is excellent! I'd swap my kids for tapas!

But anyway, it still amazes me how nobody is allowed to say "YOU DUMB NEGLECTFUL cuddly wuddly beary beary booS SHOULD BE BURNT! YOU DON'T DESERVE ANY CHILDREN! HOW COULD YOU FUCKING LEAVE THREE TINY CHILDREN ALL ALONE IN A HOLIDAY APARTMENT WHILE YOU VIRTUALLY TOOK A FUCKING TAXI JOURNEY TO GET TO A RESTAURANT".
But I'm sure they'll stick to their story that they were 'checking on their kids', even though they were over 100 meters away around several corners, and it seems didn't, in fact, see their 'beloved' little girl leaving to see Pedro The Paedo's puppies or whatever.

Best give them more money for their search and pay for a nice holiday for them to see The Pope.

cuddly wuddly beary beary boos.

The other thing this morning was a message read on air from a girl telling her boyfriend that he should have called her like he said he would, and if he does it again she'll dump him!

The hosts were very sympathetic to her on that one.

But hannnnnnnnnng on!

She's willing to throw a whole relationship away just because her boyfriend didn't call her?!

Some fucking relationship that must be!

And what it didn't say was whether she was expecting the poor bloke to call her every single day, or 4 times a day!

If you're in a relationship why the hell do you expect frequent phonecalls? Do you even have anything to say

That's 'Women's Logic' at its finest, that is!

There's not much worse than being forced to phone someone when you have absolutely bugger-all to say!

Give the poor guy a break! She's probably just being a needy bitch and he's sick of it.

And if she's willing to bin him over a phonecall he didn't make, then he's better off without her!

Rarr! Right - lets get this week started!