Today I went to Lidl for the first time
by, 03-09-09 at 16:06 (2222 Views)
It was deliberate too, insomuch as I set out to go there and wasn't just passing. The purpose of the trip was to see if I was missing out on some serious savings.
I guess things were off to a shaky start when I saw you had to pay a deposit to use the trolleys. This is the only supermarket in this area that does this, although I'm sure if you are reading this in Bradford where even your milk bottles are coin released, you'll think i'm being snobbish.
Into the shop itself, sans trolley, and you can see immediately they've saved money on the decor. Posters advertising German branded produce that is set out in a mish-mah-maze of confusion. In the same aisle, I can buy an avocado, a rain shower and some chocolates. I don't need any of these things, but the urge to 'save' is evident. Perhaps I could eat a job lot of chocolates whilst bathing with the avocado?
Maybe that is why things aren't laid out how you'd assume; to confuse. To add pressure to the part of your brain that feels obliged to buy the tat you find at the checkouts in proper supermarkets. Maybe that could make a pretty decent logo for the store: "Lidl-we're crammed full of the shit you impulsively buy whilst waiting at our competitors tills".
Actually it wouldn't. I can't recall you getting 15kg bags of Basmati rice or a 6 jar pack of prune juice at the tills in Waitrose. So what sort of person shops here? Well, the clientele in this store would appear to be either unemployed or retired. The retired men, all wearing a kind of tracksuit trouser and long-sleeved shirt ensemble, congregate around the "2 for 1 on garden rakes" section (adjacent to the 5 for 1 on 2l 'cola' section). The unemployed men, all wearing a kind of long-sleeve shirt and tracksuit trouser ensemble, all congregate around the alcohol and uber-strong detergent aisle, because they're going to need to get those 8% cider piss-stains off their y-fronts at some point.
I walked around the store 3 times looking for the obvious savings although I couldn't see any aside from super-bulk buys. There was some bread on offer, but I couldn't understand the German label. Probably just as well as it looked hard enough to have been a V2 prototype.
Bulk buys for the win, which is what I ended up at the checkout with; an oversized bag of rice and a hundredweight of Olives. The checkouts in Lidl, in case you cared, are full of people also stocking up on rice reserves. So there you have it; the highest proportion of sickness in the UK is due to back pain, and now I know why.
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