TRC is primarily funded by ad revenue. If you like the content you find here, please do not block our ads. Thank you.
View RSS Feed

Savio Du Funk

Today I went to Lidl for the first time

Rate this Entry
by , 03-09-09 at 16:06 (3535 Views)
It was deliberate too, insomuch as I set out to go there and wasn't just passing. The purpose of the trip was to see if I was missing out on some serious savings.

I guess things were off to a shaky start when I saw you had to pay a deposit to use the trolleys. This is the only supermarket in this area that does this, although I'm sure if you are reading this in Bradford where even your milk bottles are coin released, you'll think i'm being snobbish.

Into the shop itself, sans trolley, and you can see immediately they've saved money on the decor. Posters advertising German branded produce that is set out in a mish-mah-maze of confusion. In the same aisle, I can buy an avocado, a rain shower and some chocolates. I don't need any of these things, but the urge to 'save' is evident. Perhaps I could eat a job lot of chocolates whilst bathing with the avocado?

Maybe that is why things aren't laid out how you'd assume; to confuse. To add pressure to the part of your brain that feels obliged to buy the tat you find at the checkouts in proper supermarkets. Maybe that could make a pretty decent logo for the store: "Lidl-we're crammed full of the shit you impulsively buy whilst waiting at our competitors tills".

Actually it wouldn't. I can't recall you getting 15kg bags of Basmati rice or a 6 jar pack of prune juice at the tills in Waitrose. So what sort of person shops here? Well, the clientele in this store would appear to be either unemployed or retired. The retired men, all wearing a kind of tracksuit trouser and long-sleeved shirt ensemble, congregate around the "2 for 1 on garden rakes" section (adjacent to the 5 for 1 on 2l 'cola' section). The unemployed men, all wearing a kind of long-sleeve shirt and tracksuit trouser ensemble, all congregate around the alcohol and uber-strong detergent aisle, because they're going to need to get those 8% cider piss-stains off their y-fronts at some point.

I walked around the store 3 times looking for the obvious savings although I couldn't see any aside from super-bulk buys. There was some bread on offer, but I couldn't understand the German label. Probably just as well as it looked hard enough to have been a V2 prototype.

Bulk buys for the win, which is what I ended up at the checkout with; an oversized bag of rice and a hundredweight of Olives. The checkouts in Lidl, in case you cared, are full of people also stocking up on rice reserves. So there you have it; the highest proportion of sickness in the UK is due to back pain, and now I know why.

Submit "Today I went to Lidl for the first time" to Digg Submit "Today I went to Lidl for the first time" to del.icio.us Submit "Today I went to Lidl for the first time" to StumbleUpon Submit "Today I went to Lidl for the first time" to Google Submit "Today I went to Lidl for the first time" to Facebook Submit "Today I went to Lidl for the first time" to Twitter

Categories
Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Editor's Avatar
    • |
    • permalink
    Can't say I frequent the likes of Lidl, but I have been in there & Aldi & Nettoes. Usually when we're stocking up for dog fud at a show. I wouldn't touch any meat products from there ever, but the dogs like them!

    There's stuff like cook in sauces & sambals that I've never seen before, or for that matter, again. I bought a joist detector once. I trust it not one bit. Which leads me to ask if you observed the people who emerge from the plastic flap covered entrances. I've seen less shifty looking people in a cash & carry butchery section, & I'm talking about the staff here. It's like being eyed up by a feral cat to see if you're worth the hassle whilst on their way elsewhere to shed small creatures. And taxis. What is it people loaded up with all manner of unhealthy shite, hanging about outside having a fag & climbing into a taxi? Unless they're claimable?? No, surely not...

    Mind you-what else do you expect when you chuck out Somerfield & whatever that odd supermarket was where Robert Dyas is now. And even Dyas has got tidy. I remember when the lighting shop near the banks used to sell airguns out the back! Crumbs, & knives as well.
  2. Lily's Avatar
    • |
    • permalink
    I actually fear entering one of these establishments. Not the sort of fear created from snobbery but one of truly having no idea what to expect and not wanting to appear out of place.
  3. Savio Du Funk's Avatar
    • |
    • permalink
    Quote Originally Posted by Lily
    I actually fear entering one of these establishments. Not the sort of fear created from snobbery but one of truly having no idea what to expect and not wanting to appear out of place.

    That is exactly the feeling I had. I even found myself fumbling around in my pockets, although this time it was to locate my work ID badge. I wanted to casually slip it on my shirt to show everyone that I actually had a job and didn't need their shit.

    I couldn't find the badge however, so had to just do the best I could with Imperious pacing about and stroking my chin in a 'considered thought' pose.

Trackbacks

Total Trackbacks 0
Trackback URL: