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The Kennel Kernel

Decent Dreamtime...

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been a tad quiet around these parts so I thought I'd share last night's headbanger. Do have it mind that it was just a dream though. It's a slightly more thorough variation on the usual 'lost' meme.

Starts at Heathrow with Ma & Bear (my parents) I think. Holiday time & we’re going to the USA. We’ve done the usual idiots lining up landside at baggage check in asking the same question i.e when are you doing flight xyz?

Airport-can’t wander between landside & airside now I no longer have an airside pass-but I know I could between airsides though. See Karen there & have a quick convo like I’d never left. As ever she doesn’t seem impressed so CBA to follow it up. Not as if any of that is my problem any more, just that old habits die hard.

Anyhow I as usual get separated. Can’t find them in the lounge-odd. Oh well, it’ll be alright. Perhaps this is the earlier flight we were all hoping to take? I’ll just wait at the other end for them to arrive on the next one. Prob best let them know though, so take phone out. It’s changed, completely. I can’t work it-not even call or text. There’s an answerphone message & incoming texts symbols up-no idea how to take any action with them. This is not developing so well.

Sitting in the tail-can see the rear fins-like the tailgate’s open or it’s got windows. It’s tail right down pointing 45 plus degrees up. Off the ground but only just. Kind of hovering-I can see tree roots-that close. It’s a lot of ‘oh shit’ & a lot of ‘how exciting-what’s going to happen next?’

The multi-coloured military stealth pentangles in a vast field are whizzing about. Plus all the other stuff. ‘Holding pattern until this lot clears’ announces the pilot. Then we’re cleared for take off & we gently slide to whack a tree branch (rather noisily) slip down a little further & then start to climb. Guess it’s a passenger jet, but this isn’t exactly excitingly fast-where’s the G force? Come on-step on it FFS. After the scare it’s the least you could get on with.

Boring flying thing. Then the time to arrival comes up. WTFFF?

‘I’m sorry but where did you say this plane is going? Bonn-what in Germany? There’s been a terrible mistake-I’m supposed to be going in the opposite direction-to USA. And my tickets are with the other party. As would be my main handluggage & hell, my passport.’

One member of staff outside the plane says, what you going to Boston? ‘Erm, yes. I think (by now I can’t even recall even where in the USA we’re going.’ That’s handy-my bro is flying back that way right now. Hop in & we’ll see if we can catch him up.

This gets very weird. Like dorms as sleeping lounges. I have my wallet in my manbag. Somehow I lose my clothes & shoes, but there’s lots left around. Another staff evacuation but there’s like this conveyor belt on the plane spitting off all this duty free & chocolate. Another time, hell yes, but all I want is some shoes. Manbag long gone. And we get taken off by boat. Which then sinks..what a surprise. Oh & the clothes I do have have holes in them & are more than unsuitable for encountering a german immigration officer. Once again the shoes have gone. Bit of swimming in some brown water & trying to avoid the speeding craft. Somehow we are on a coach heading for whatever airport. Through huge piles of rusting airport kit, cars, scrap. ‘Have you noticed that every airport in the world seems to have a huge scrap pile somewhere hidden from gen view? I ask. No someone replies. Oh just me then. Again.

Onto another plane. Fuck knows where it’s heading-doesn’t seem so important now. Can’t ever go back to where I started kind of thing-just keep running. And then IT happens. The plane turns belly up & drops out of the sky. Choices-there are few. I can scream & panic, but the stupidness of that is obvious. A stillness happens-that is my choice-not as if I can see a better one. I relax-won’t be long now. Might as well enjoy the ride whilst it lasts-not many people get to experience this. I’ve somehow tuned all the externals out-they’re not important or even relevant any more. And then, in a slightly disappointed way, it’s just over. No big bang, no final revelation, no hugs, no contact, nobody. Just me. It’s not bad-far from it. It’s the thought of it which is bad. The reality, if not good, feels like the most natural of all things in the world. And I guess that’s how it should be, seeing as we can never duck death & it happens to every single thing alive. How funny to be sentient of one’s own expiry-but then again-is that also what happens to every single living thing at that moment? To think about the energy wasted in panic, fear, worry whilst still there-it’s something of a relief really, that letting go. If I’d known it was that easy, that natural, I wouldn’t have had to worry about it. Even more odd is the way my brain equates getting lost with death. Perhaps I held them as the 2 greatest fears I have. Neither really matters-guess both are a gateway to an entirely different journey.


I couldn't make this shit up-I don't have an imagination like it. So how come I so clearly can whilst asleep & and I've omitted pages & pages of brilliant detail too? Dinna fret-I'm not. Just a dream, & by my standards this one counts as OK. I'm fucking bored of these 'lost' ones though. I'm led to believe that this sort of thing is a 'prepping or dealing with change' indicator. I fucking hate change, well until it happens that is & then the fun begins. The thought of change then.

Fuck going to sleep tonight though, types Ed at 03:34.

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