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Savio Du Funk

Will the real Nick Robinson please stand up

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Gordon Brown is a fucking cabbage with a Napoleon complex the enormity of which, if it were to be a cardboard cut-out, would actually be the size of 500 Corsican dictators.

Perpetually deluded to the point where he probably watches his every movement in the 3rd person, waltzing Imperiously amongst his flock regaled in only the Emporers finest wardrobe, and doesn't he look splendid.

Does he honestly think anyone actual respects the inaudible durge coming from his haggis-hole? A quote from his speech earlier today when referencing next years June elections:

"voters face the biggest choice for a generation"

I'm not saying I'm pro web-Cameron, because I'm not. But I think if you were to stand Himmler, Khan or Shatner up against this shower at the next election they'd make a good fist of it.

Brown makes a lot of Brown noise, regurgitated from the bowels of the party's best deliverer of spin, ripe and pungent for our conscious consideration. Well it would be, if we could understand it.

Which brings me rather bluntly to the point. Nick Robinson. I am sick of this cuddly wuddly beary beary boo. Pick any news medium and there he is.

"This is the 6 O'Cock news LIVE, and here is Nick Robinson LIVE from the PM's plane. Over to you, Nick"

"I'M ON A PLANE MOTHERFUCKERS lol"

Radio? No problem. This morning, no doubt jet-lagged from being on a plane, Nick Robinson was in the radio studio (the rudio?) to counter Alan Johnson's Johnson.

"Ok Alan, thanks as always for your 'didn't he do well for himself rags to cabinet riches' take on life. Now, over to you Nick Robinson":

"I'M ON THE RADIO MOTHERFUCKERS lol"

He's even in the fucking newspapers. Tabloids? Broadsheets? Pick any you like, HE'S IN THEM ALL ffs. With so many 5th column inches that Nelson himself would have penis envy. Nick is reading my thoughts reading his.

"This is Sandra, 22 from Hartlepool. With puppies like hers, it's no wonder she's pro animal rights-right fellas?"......"I'M ON THE BOOBIES MOTHERFUCKER lol"

Everywhere I look I see a bespectacled slaphead trying to offer a running commentary on fuck only knows what.

There is a scene in Police Academy where the Chief Inspector chap is making a speech whilst getting noshed from a hidden woman, and man alive does he look relaxed 'afterwards'.

Why don't you try this approach, Gordon, before making another nervous 'for a generation' claim. I can even recommend someone to lift up your skirt.

"I'VE GOT CUM ON MY GLASSES MOTHERFUCKERS lol"

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Updated 29-09-09 at 20:00 by Savio Du Funk

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Comments

  1. Editor's Avatar
    I'm prolly going to giggle like a girl the next time I hear a handover to NR, & then I'll have some trouble explaining. Worth the risk though.
  2. Olly's Avatar
    I was chortling away in my truck this afternoon, remembering this blog post. Good work, fella.

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