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Thread: Advice about bequests - sort of!

  1. #16
    Weapons Grade Moaner Silly Car's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!


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    Quote Originally Posted by balbas View Post
    Wife (private client / wealth management lawyer) says:- The person who is accountable to the beneficiary is the executor. If the ring was not passed on to the beneficiary within one year of date of death, then interest may be due on the legacy and the executor is personally liable for the interest and the value of the legacy. Unless of course there are other circumstances which are not disclosed.

    In summary, you have my number. Call tomorrow to speak to the Mrs and she'll give you advice.
    Good advice (as always), although my thoughts are who was/were the executor(s) of the Estate? If it was the solicitor then I’d be contacting them about their decision to delegate their responsibilities to a third party who is now holding the legacy subject to ransom...

    Nogs, speak to the lovely Mrs Balbas.


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  4. #17
    Should Get Out More ink ink's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ant View Post
    Wouldn't dream of judging. As you say, always more than one side to every story.
    We judge, every minute of every day, using the facts available to us.

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  6. #18
    Should Get Out More Mussels's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Quote Originally Posted by Silly Car View Post
    Good advice (as always), although my thoughts are who was/were the executor(s) of the Estate? If it was the solicitor then I’d be contacting them about their decision to delegate their responsibilities to a third party who is now holding the legacy subject to ransom...

    Nogs, speak to the lovely Mrs Balbas.
    Assuming it was the solicitor they ought to be worried about what they did but the problem may be that they can't get heavy about it if the beneficiary hasn't even asked her mother for it, so in effect the mother hasn't refused to hand it over and there is no intent to deprive the beneficiary of it.
    Still I think it's worth telling the executor as they should be worried about their sloppy mistake.

  7. #19
    Should Get Out More Tomcat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Quote Originally Posted by MsignorMartinez View Post
    I have no experience of any value but my instinct would be to be nice to her and try a softly softly approach at least at first.

    Sorry to hear you and your mum don't get along Nogs, them's mean cards.


    Legal persons will normally stipulate that you should have tried to resolve the dispute in person before starting proceedings. And while advice from a friend may be free, letters and legal instruments to force them to hand it over will not be cheap. Moreover a person suddenly receiving a solicitors letter may be more inclined to dig their heels in than one you've asked nicely first.

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    Should Get Out More ink ink's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Just let the old bat keep it.

  9. #21
    Should Get Out More Bobzilla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Quote Originally Posted by Noggin View Post
    We are looking at the legal side purely to put in an email to the mother to just 'mention' that holding on to it is not strictly legal and to suggest the sending by courier thing. If its insured with the courier and goes missing, then the mother can give the insurance money to the daughter (the ring is too small to be worn and TBF is worth more lost than sold!!)
    There's no 'strictly' about it. It is totally illegal. It is theft - the ring does not belong to your mother and she is withholding it with the intention of effectively blackmailing your sister into collecting it herself in person when she has no desire to see her. She has sent her agents to collect it and your mother has refused to hand it over. Whilst the police may dismiss it as a private matter that they won't get involved in, your mother is acting totally illegally.

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  11. #22
    Should Get Out More Editor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Quote Originally Posted by Noggin View Post

    1 But the truth is she likes the control and is trying to manipulate the daughter into being in contact. (She is a master of manipulation and mental abuse. The last thing the daughter needs is to be in direct contact - I have distance to protect me mentally and count myself very lucky for that!)

    2 We are looking at the legal side purely to put in an email to the mother to just 'mention' that holding on to it is not strictly legal and to suggest the sending by courier thing. If its insured with the courier and goes missing, then the mother can give the insurance money to the daughter (the ring is too small to be worn and TBF is worth more lost than sold!!)
    1 We had something like that. We reckoned it a small price to pay to not ever get involved with them again.

    2 Ours had wrapped it up watertight. Only people who would have benefitted would have been the legal lot. But I hate bullies & manipulators. If I hadn't been in quite such a place I was at the time I could have been bloody minded enough to lead them a merry dance over it. But that lot invariably sleep well at night, so for the best I didn't waste my energy on it.

    3 Only been an executor the once, & we took a lot of care to make sure that we got it right, done by the book & signed off. i.e. paid the accountants & other professionals. You might find that putting some pressure on whoever made that choice to give it to the wrong person might pay off, not in the least they may have more influence on the Witch. It won't take much-casual looking communication about enquiring why after xyz this specific item is not where it should be. I would get the intended beneficiary to drive that one though-keep the lines of comms simple & straight.

    Sorry to hear about this, but end of the day look after you & yours. It would be 'nice' to think my own witch has enough rope to drink themselves to death, but somehow I think they'll be pickled & preserved to see their Telegram from the queen. However I really DGAS, unless they are silly enough to start up again. That phase of intimidation took police action & a very big shout at from the person we were with who answered the phone on her last diatribe. Bullies you see-BFO stick & a hard enough front & they all back down because they're usually cowards & have an intense sense of the thickness of a wafer thin mint it would take to precipitate confrontation they cannot win. Unless they're psychos, in which case see point 1.

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    Should Get Out More Noggin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Thank you all


    She wouldn't take this legal or involve anyone like police. Just wanted to point out that with holding the ring is illegal. The mother was joint executor with her brother. It turns out that the mother collected the ring because the daughter was moving countries so (as a master of manipulation and also not trusting either daughter with the rings they'd been bequeathed!) she collected it. There was no written agreement and the daughter doesn't think she'd have said yes


    I have been out all day but will text Balbas in a mo to see if the lovely Mrs Balbas is about this evening or in the morning!


    As I said, this isn't likely to be taken further legally - just need to know the scare of the legal side to be able to point it out to the mother!

    Thanx again everyone - you lot rock

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    Should Get Out More chillitt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Quote Originally Posted by Noggin View Post
    Thank you all


    She wouldn't take this legal or involve anyone like police. Just wanted to point out that with holding the ring is illegal. The mother was joint executor with her brother. It turns out that the mother collected the ring because the daughter was moving countries so (as a master of manipulation and also not trusting either daughter with the rings they'd been bequeathed!) she collected it. There was no written agreement and the daughter doesn't think she'd have said yes


    I have been out all day but will text Balbas in a mo to see if the lovely Mrs Balbas is about this evening or in the morning!


    As I said, this isn't likely to be taken further legally - just need to know the scare of the legal side to be able to point it out to the mother!

    Thanx again everyone - you lot rock
    If sis gets on better with the uncle, get him to pic it up. if not, sis could go round and pic it up with out declaring love peace and understanding. just bite her tongue til she gets the ring, then go straight for the door. maybe go round with the uncle. Also would it be so bad if that lead to a slightly better relationship between them?

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    Should Get Out More Noggin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Quote Originally Posted by chillitt View Post
    If sis gets on better with the uncle, get him to pic it up. if not, sis could go round and pic it up with out declaring love peace and understanding. just bite her tongue til she gets the ring, then go straight for the door. maybe go round with the uncle. Also would it be so bad if that lead to a slightly better relationship between them?

    Uncle is on an island off Scotland somewhere!! And has the family unfriendly genes!

    There is virtually no chance of a better relationship TBF. And that is justifiable. I wouldn't suggest that she does it for any reason given the damage that has been done in the past (and not accepted by the mother in any way at all). Its really not worth it mentally

    I suspect that the ring will stay put until the mother dies if it's not sent.

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    Should Get Out More chillitt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Quote Originally Posted by Noggin View Post
    Uncle is on an island off Scotland somewhere!! And has the family unfriendly genes!

    There is virtually no chance of a better relationship TBF. And that is justifiable. I wouldn't suggest that she does it for any reason given the damage that has been done in the past (and not accepted by the mother in any way at all). Its really not worth it mentally

    I suspect that the ring will stay put until the mother dies if it's not sent.
    The skiing thing is just to avoid a family Christmas, isnt it?

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    Should Get Out More Noggin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Quote Originally Posted by chillitt View Post
    The skiing thing is just to avoid a family Christmas, isnt it?

    Yup!!! LOL

    My bike and ski families are more like I think family should be than most of my bio family Sad but true. Luckily, I can come back and see the good ones then go back again

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  20. #28
    Should Get Out More Bobzilla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice about bequests - sort of!

    Quote Originally Posted by Noggin View Post
    Thank you all


    She wouldn't take this legal or involve anyone like police. Just wanted to point out that with holding the ring is illegal. The mother was joint executor with her brother. It turns out that the mother collected the ring because the daughter was moving countries so (as a master of manipulation and also not trusting either daughter with the rings they'd been bequeathed!) she collected it. There was no written agreement and the daughter doesn't think she'd have said yes
    So the person who 'collected' the ring and won't release it is the executor? That could be viewed as breach of a fiduciary duty - the courts would not be impressed.

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