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Thread: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

  1. #1
    Should Get Out More Noggin's Avatar
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    Default Wheelchair friend - first visit!


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    This is possibly a weird question. I'm going to meet up with a friend on Tuesday that I haven't seen for over a year. We used to catch up at the airport with work two seasons ago. Last season she changed jobs so I didn't see her and then heard that she'd had an accident in Feb that broke her back. Permanent damage. She's in a wheelchair now

    As I'm going to Grenoble on Tuesday and she's there in a rehab centre, we are going to meet up.

    So, I would normally give someone I haven't seen for ages a hug, especially if they've had an injury


    The possibly weird question is - how do I hug her!!! I feel that leaning down for a hug would feel oppressive for her. Would it make sense to kneel down by the chair and give her a hug??


    I had wanted to see her back in May when I went up to the same hospital but she didn't reply and a mutual friend said she was wary about visitors - she'd had bad experiences with some people that hadn't reacted well to her injury. But, I know a couple of people in chairs and lots with limb loss/damage, so hopefully she will be comfortable with me - and I'm unlikely to react badly!

    Possibly the answer to my weird question is just not do a hug. But wondered what you guys thought before I go. Bound to make a decision on the day, but, any advice (through experience ideally!)

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    Should Get Out More irie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Ask her if she would like you to give her a hug.

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    Should Get Out More Yorick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Take a chair yourself and then have races around the car park

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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Quote Originally Posted by irie View Post
    Ask her if she would like you to give her a hug.


    It's odd for you but she'll get asked that kinda thing all yhe time don't forget.

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    Should Get Out More Noggin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yorick View Post
    Take a chair yourself and then have races around the car park
    Trouble is I'd just go round in circles!!! LOL



    Quote Originally Posted by irie View Post
    Ask her if she would like you to give her a hug.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Dazzle View Post


    It's odd for you but she'll get asked that kinda thing all yhe time don't forget.

    Cool. Thank you. I probably would ask, but just really don't want to make her feel awkward! x

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    Should Get Out More gremlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Ask.

    Simple as that.

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    Should Get Out More slowsider's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Low five her.



    Jeez, you're in France - fais la bise.

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    Should Get Out More Jody's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Quote Originally Posted by Noggin View Post
    Trouble is I'd just go round in circles!!! LOL

    Then it's settled, a race down the exit ramp of a multistory carpark. Film it !

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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    What Gremlin said...ask!

    just stay out of the chairs, you WILL hurt yourself!!

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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Also ask her if she would like an extra hug & then give her a hug from me too please


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Just say to your friend what you said to us.
    Quote Originally Posted by Noggin View Post
    So, I would normally give someone I haven't seen for ages a hug, especially if they've had an injury
    Then continue with something like "Is that OK with you, too? " That gives her the choice of whether and how. Assuming her arms are working, if she reaches up to you, bend over and hug her from a standing position. Alternatively, she has the opportunity to say "yes but be careful of x/y/z " or "no, because of x/y/z". After that, find a chair so you can sit at a similar level to her, as you would when chatting to everyone else.

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    Should Get Out More DefTrap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Quote Originally Posted by slowsider View Post
    Low five her.



    Jeez, you're in France - fais la bise.
    This is the correct answer, it would be rude not to.

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  24. #13
    Should Get Out More Noggin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wheelchair friend - first visit!

    Quote Originally Posted by slowsider View Post
    Low five her.



    Jeez, you're in France - fais la bise.

    Quote Originally Posted by DefTrap View Post
    This is the correct answer, it would be rude not to.
    But - that requires me leaning down and over her a bit. Which is why I asked the question as I fear that could make her feel 'crowded' or something. Besides, we're both English - Hugs are where it's at. Bisous is for the French. I hate it in the summer when all my English friends have 'adjusted' to using the Bisous to say hi instead of a hug!! LOL



    Quote Originally Posted by Jody View Post
    Then it's settled, a race down the exit ramp of a multistory carpark. Film it !
    Soooo - tempting! I'll ask her if they'll let us - might have to do that another day as I only have about 45 mins to see her before I have to leave to get to hosp for my stuff. Probably wouldn't be popular if I turned up more broken! LOL


    Quote Originally Posted by zebbyzulu View Post
    Also ask her if she would like an extra hug & then give her a hug from me too please


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Will do xx



    Quote Originally Posted by Bike Breaker View Post
    Just say to your friend what you said to us.Then continue with something like "Is that OK with you, too? " That gives her the choice of whether and how. Assuming her arms are working, if she reaches up to you, bend over and hug her from a standing position. Alternatively, she has the opportunity to say "yes but be careful of x/y/z " or "no, because of x/y/z". After that, find a chair so you can sit at a similar level to her, as you would when chatting to everyone else.
    Arms definitely work - I look forward to Wheelie Wednesdays as she posts awesome videos of her getting better and better at them!!

    I will ask, just wondered if anyone had dealt with a similar situation. Will definitely be sitting to chat!


    Thanx everyone for the comments xxx

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