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Thread: Your Best Text Jokes

  1. #1711
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes


  2. #1712
    This is the way The Martian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Someone just accused me of being OCD?!

    Well, I put them in their place.

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  4. #1713
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes




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  6. #1714
    Should Get Out More Derek Badger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.

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  8. #1715
    Should Get Out More Ant's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    My ex girlfriend told me to stop behaving like a flamingo. That's when I knew I had to put my foot down.

  9. #1716
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I know some sick feckers, I really do...


    What's black and screams?

    Harvey answering the Iron!

  10. #1717
    Should Get Out More Ant's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Taipan View Post
    I know some sick feckers, I really do...


    What's black and screams?

    Harvey answering the Iron!

  11. #1718
    Should Get Out More KungFooBob's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Taipan View Post
    I know some sick feckers, I really do...


    What's black and screams?

    Harvey answering the Iron!
    It used to be Stevie Wonder when I was a kid.

  12. #1719
    Annoying The Idiots Yorick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by KungFooBob View Post
    It used to be Stevie Wonder when I was a kid.
    What goes, click click click. Is that it ? Click click click. Is that it?

  13. #1720
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Yorick View Post
    What goes, click click click. Is that it ? Click click click. Is that it?
    I dont know, What does go, click click click. Is that it ? Click click click. Is that it?

  14. #1721
    Annoying The Idiots Yorick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Taipan View Post
    I dont know, What does go, click click click. Is that it ? Click click click. Is that it?
    Stevie Wonder doing the Rubik Cube.

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  16. #1722
    This is the way The Martian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Yorick View Post
    Stevie Wonder doing the Rubik Cube.
    Tsk, how very un PC





    I didn't laugh, honest

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  18. #1723
    Should Get Out More ink ink's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I just knew this must exist.


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  20. #1724
    This is the way The Martian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by ink ink View Post
    I just knew this must exist.

    Excellent

  21. #1725
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Not a text, but an email...


    Back on January 9th, a group of HELL'S ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

    George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says

    "Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?

    She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!

    While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked,

    "Well, before you jump, Babe . . why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"

    So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

    After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,

    "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sweet Lips. You could be famous if you rode with me.

    Why are you committing suicide?"

    "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

    It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

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