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Thread: Your Best Text Jokes

  1. #1441
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Had some sad news today but it's good news financially;
    The African kid I was sponsoring through college has been eaten by a lion

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  3. #1442
    A Bit Bored
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    Read more at:

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    If the musicís too loud youíre too old.

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I'm a social vegan, I avoid meet.

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    Should Get Out More Reburner's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Got mugged by 6 dwarves last night. Not Happy.

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  9. #1447
    Should Get Out More Yorick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Ryanair charged the passengers an extra £30 for the RAF escort!

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I saw my mate Bill this morning, he's only got one arm bless him.
    I shouted - "Where you off to, Bill?"
    He said, "I'm off to change a light bulb."
    Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then said,
    "That's gonna be a bit awkward isn't it?"
    "Not really", he said, "I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I've just been to the doctor's about my sporadic invisibility, but apparently they couldn't see me today

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    Should Get Out More Derek Badger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    My mate ended up in A&E with 7 plastic horses stuck up his arse. The doctor described his condition as stable.

  14. #1451
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    That's so lame but I'm still laughing.

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I've just met a dyslexic Yorkshireman, he was wearing a cat flap..

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    Should Get Out More Ant's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
    "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
    "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
    Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
    "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
    "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

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