Page 125 of 125 FirstFirst ... 2575115123124125
Results 1,861 to 1,866 of 1866

Thread: Your Best Text Jokes

  1. #1861
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Boerthal's hill
    Posts
    48,780
    Like
    17,502
    Liked 10,975 in 5,747 posts

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Our buildings caretaker just asked if I wanted to smoke some weed with him. I declined as I just can't be doing with high maintenance people...

  2. The following 2 users liked this useful post by Taipan:


  3. #1862
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Boerthal's hill
    Posts
    48,780
    Like
    17,502
    Liked 10,975 in 5,747 posts

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes


  4. #1863
    Should Get Out More KungFooBob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    The Forest Moon of Endor
    Posts
    17,685
    Like
    425
    Liked 7,974 in 4,536 posts

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I asked my wife if I was her only one.

    She said yes I was, all the others were eights and nines.

  5. The following 5 users liked this useful post by KungFooBob:


  6. #1864
    Annoying The Idiots Yorick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Lanzarote
    Posts
    40,849
    Like
    6,862
    Liked 6,509 in 4,059 posts
    Blog Entries
    6

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    While riding my motorbike, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
    Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"
    As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with cleavage to die for...
    "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
    She said, Get in and Ill take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.
    "That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
    "Oh, come now, Im a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
    Well, she was pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
    We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
    "Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
    "Still in the ditch with the motorbike, I guess."

  7. The following 5 users liked this useful post by Yorick:


  8. #1865
    This is the way The Martian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Earth...just visiting
    Posts
    31,879
    Like
    6,682
    Liked 3,870 in 2,233 posts
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    The man who developed the programming for "cut & paste" has died.
    His eulogy is very familiar.

  9. #1866
    Should Get Out More Ant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Sausagechester
    Posts
    18,759
    Like
    195
    Liked 1,478 in 1,046 posts

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes


Go Back to Forum My Forum

TRC Affiliates - Help TRC make a small amount of commission