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Thread: Your Best Text Jokes

  1. #1426
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by go_slow View Post
    JK Rowling talking about the 20th anniversary of Harry Potter. I don't think anyone has milked a small wizard this much since Debbie Magee.
    I liked that..

    But not a lot.

  2. #1427
    Really Bored
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I saw what you did there...

  3. #1428
    Should Get Out More Ant's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    BREAKING NEWS !!

    Teacher Arrested

    A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

    At a morning press conference, Attorney General Jeff Sessions said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

    He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

  4. #1429
    Should Get Out More
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    That's lame as hell, so why am i laughing?

  5. #1430
    Should Get Out More ink ink's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Ant View Post
    a ruler, a protractor, a compass...,
    How far did you get in algebra, at school?

  6. #1431
    Should Get Out More Tomcat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by ink ink View Post
    How far did you get in algebra, at school?
    He was a bit of a square, not acute at all.

  7. #1432
    Should Get Out More ink ink's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Tomcat View Post
    He was a bit of a square, not acute at all.
    Like the constipated mathematician, he worked it out with a pencil.

  8. #1433
    Should Get Out More Derek Badger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I had this weird, sexy dream involving bacon last night. I woke up with a massive lardon.

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  10. #1434
    Should Get Out More protoborg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Derek Badger View Post
    I had this weird, sexy dream involving bacon last night. I woke up with a massive lardon.
    Was it a little rasher when you woke up?

  11. #1435
    Should Get Out More melons's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    A farmer in Yorkshire see's a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts,

    "Ey up cock! tha dun wanna be drinkin watta frm theer, it's full o hoss piss an cow shite".

    The bloke says "I'm from London, can you speak a little slower please".

    The farmer replies "If-You-Use-Two-Hands-You-Won't-Spill-Any!!!"

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