Page 109 of 109 FirstFirst ... 95999107108109
Results 1,621 to 1,633 of 1633

Thread: Your Best Text Jokes

  1. #1621
    Should Get Out More go_slow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    is not fixed no more.
    Posts
    27,420
    Like
    4,983
    Liked 5,822 in 3,411 posts
    Blog Entries
    20

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a condom if I ever had sex.

    He said, “Any person willing to have sex with you will sleep with almost anyone else.”

  2. The following 3 users liked this useful post by go_slow:


  3. #1622
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Earth...just visiting
    Posts
    31,754
    Like
    6,086
    Liked 3,522 in 2,034 posts
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Do you know anyone who wants a load of dead batteries?

    Free of charge!

  4. #1623
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Earth...just visiting
    Posts
    31,754
    Like
    6,086
    Liked 3,522 in 2,034 posts
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Just got 20 Richmonds from the corner shop for a group of young lads who begged me to get them, handed them over and got a load of abuse for my trouble!

    Cheeky twats can get their own sausages in future.

  5. The following 2 users liked this useful post by The Martian:


  6. #1624
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Boerthal's hill
    Posts
    46,125
    Like
    14,451
    Liked 8,928 in 4,667 posts

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes


  7. The following 2 users liked this useful post by Taipan:


  8. #1625
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Earth...just visiting
    Posts
    31,754
    Like
    6,086
    Liked 3,522 in 2,034 posts
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    The other half just asked me "what do you love more, me or football?"
    "Open your legs and I'll show you" I replied...
    And then nutmegged her

  9. #1626
    A Bit Bored
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    15
    Like
    0
    Liked: 1/1

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by The Martian View Post
    The other half just asked me "what do you love more, me or football?"
    "Open your legs and I'll show you" I replied...
    And then nutmegged her
    Hilarious!

  10. #1627
    Really Bored
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Llanafan & Holland
    Posts
    2,928
    Like
    56
    Liked 662 in 487 posts

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by hangloose View Post
    Hilarious!
    Only a few more to go!

  11. #1628
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Earth...just visiting
    Posts
    31,754
    Like
    6,086
    Liked 3,522 in 2,034 posts
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Hot tip for the Grand National this year is Dusty rug.

    Apparently it's never been beaten.

  12. #1629
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Earth...just visiting
    Posts
    31,754
    Like
    6,086
    Liked 3,522 in 2,034 posts
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I've lost my job as a dermatologist.

    Have to wait for my E45 now.

  13. The following user liked this post made by The Martian:


  14. #1630
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Boerthal's hill
    Posts
    46,125
    Like
    14,451
    Liked 8,928 in 4,667 posts

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes


  15. The following user liked this post made by Taipan:


  16. #1631
    Should Get Out More KungFooBob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    The Forest Moon of Endor
    Posts
    15,611
    Like
    376
    Liked 6,681 in 3,789 posts

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Just been on Trip Advisor...

    They recommended LSD and Magic Mushrooms.

  17. The following 2 users liked this useful post by KungFooBob:


  18. #1632
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Earth...just visiting
    Posts
    31,754
    Like
    6,086
    Liked 3,522 in 2,034 posts
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    The Sun is amazing, without it none of us would exist, but I just read the review and it's only one star?

  19. #1633
    Retired & Happy Yorick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Lanzarote
    Posts
    37,920
    Like
    5,489
    Liked 5,385 in 3,373 posts
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by The Martian View Post
    The Sun is amazing, without it none of us would exist, but I just read the review and it's only one star?


    OR


Go Back to Forum My Forum

TRC Affiliates - Help TRC make a small amount of commission