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Thread: Your Best Text Jokes

  1. #1696
    Should Get Out More gremlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Now that I've turned 50, me and the missus have taken up Tantric sex. I'm practicing a position called 'The Plumber'.

    You're in all day but nobody comes.


    Ithangyoooooo!

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  3. #1697
    Should Get Out More Pirahna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I applied to be a sperm donor and the nurse asked if I could masturbate in the cup.

    I told her I'm pretty good but don't think I'm ready to compete in a tournament.

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  5. #1698
    Should Get Out More Yorick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    This is a story to inspire you to reach for your dreams and never ever give up ...

    Many years ago my mate's missus came a close second in the Miss England 1997 competition. Later that year she was beset by a long period of bad luck. She suffered years of drug and alcohol abuse and a series of eating disorders. She lost a leg and needed facial reconstruction surgery after a road traffic accident. Later, she suffered 90% burns in an unprovoked acid attack. Several of her teeth were knocked out and an eye gouged in a fight outside a KFC Chicken Take Away. The stress caused severe hair loss and facial warts.

    But she never stopped believing.

    And then finally, last month, she was crowned Miss Scotland 2019

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  7. #1699
    Should Get Out More ink ink's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Long text, dude.

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