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Thread: Your Best Text Jokes

  1. #1531
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
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    Red face Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Yorick View Post
    Martian doesn't know what a joke is.
    You wouldn't know a good joke if it ran up and tickled you on the bollock!

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  3. #1532
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by The Martian View Post
    You wouldn't know a good joke if it ran up and tickled you on the bollock!
    Twat

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    Should Get Out More Pirahna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Yorick View Post
    I've got a twat

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I was at the gym last night when I noticed a hole in my trainer just big enough to get my finger in. She's made a formal complaint and I'm now banned for life.

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  9. #1535
    Should Get Out More go_slow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I just failed a fire safety course when they asked what steps I would take in case of an explosion.

    Apparently “Fucking large ones” wasn’t an acceptable answer.

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  11. #1536
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Harry potter can't differentiate between his cooking pot and his best mate......


    They're both Cauldron

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Jody View Post
    Harry potter can't differentiate between his cooking pot and his best mate......


    They're both Cauldron
    Ouch.

  14. #1538
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    The Magnificent Seven were invited to watch a Liverpool game at Anfield. After the match, 6 of them were presented with bottles of aftershave, because Yul never wore cologne.

  15. #1539
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Dung beetle goes to a bar and says "is this stool taken?"

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  17. #1540
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Do you want to go for a wank down by the river later?

  18. #1541
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by The Martian View Post
    Do you want to go for a wank down by the river later?
    Oops sorry, embarrassing mistake on that last text - I meant canal.

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  20. #1542
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by The Martian View Post
    Oops sorry, embarrassing mistake on that last text - I meant canal.
    Still not funny .

  21. #1543
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Yorick View Post
    Still not funny .
    Quote Originally Posted by The Martian View Post
    You wouldn't know a good joke if it ran up and tickled you on the bollock!

  22. #1544
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Do you think that being told "Jesus loves you" is scary?
    Then you've never spent time in a Mexican prison.

  23. #1545
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Just been to the zoo and they have a lot of loaves in cages..

    Apparently they were bread in captivity.

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