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Thread: Your Best Text Jokes

  1. #1771
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Derek Badger View Post
    Prince Andrew's interview was the second worst car crash the Royal Family have organised so far.
    Sports presenter on the radio this morning compared Prince Andrew with Manchester United: both fine until Fergie left.

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  3. #1772
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Horse View Post
    Sports presenter on the radio this morning compared Prince Andrew with Manchester United: both fine until Fergie left.
    Have you not seen the Venn diagram of things that got worse when Fergie left, with Prince Andrew, ManU and The Black Eyed Peas?

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by KungFooBob View Post
    Have you not seen the Venn diagram of things that got worse when Fergie left, with Prince Andrew, ManU and The Black Eyed Peas?
    Obviously not

    Or, perhaps '80' not?

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Horse View Post
    Obviously not

    Or, perhaps '80' not?
    Ed posted it...

    Sent from my SM-A520F using Tapatalk

  6. #1775
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by KungFooBob View Post
    Have you not seen the Venn diagram of things that got worse when Fergie left, with Prince Andrew, ManU and The Black Eyed Peas?
    I had no idea it was possible for the Black Eyed Peas to get worse.

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Ahh... slept like a baby last night.

    Woke up twice crying and when I got up this morning I'd shit myself

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Had to ring the sperm bank and cancel my appointment I said i was sorry but i couldn't come today.

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Let's get this in early. Andrew's death wasn't suicide.

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Can't believe I'm still eating this clock, I didn't realise it would be so time consuming..

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  13. #1780
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Taking inspiration from 'I'm a celebrity' Get me out of here .
    I ate a cows Nipple, a pigs eyeball and a sheeps penis last night.

    Or a Greggs sausage roll as it's better known

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Best? No, but here goes.

    I upset my wife yesterday. I took the lid off the tin of Celebrations and rewrapped all of the sweets in the wrong wrappers.

    She got her Snickers in a Twix.
    Last edited by Horse; 27-11-19 at 14:58.

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  17. #1782
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Horse View Post
    Best? No, but here goes.

    I upset my wife yesterday. I took the lid off the tin of Quality Street and rewrapped all of the sweets in the wrong wrappers.

    She got her Snickers in a Twix.
    Be better if it were Celebrations, rather than Quality Street.

  18. #1783
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by KungFooBob View Post
    Be better if it were Celebrations, rather than Quality Street.
    Hurrah?

    I don't eat the things, so I'll take your word for it

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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Boris Johnson responds to accusations that he's too scared to face a TV grilling in exclusive Blue Peter interview.

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  21. #1785
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    A Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out of his window and said to his wife, there's rain coming my love.
    She looked out at the sunny sky and said I think you're wrong there.
    He glared back at her and said Rudolph the Red knows rain dear!

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