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Thread: Your Best Text Jokes

  1. #1801
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I nearly got knocked off my bicycle by a council salt lorry tonight. "You idiot", I shouted at them through gritted teeth!

  2. #1802
    Really Bored
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Taipan View Post



    ouch

  3. #1803
    Should Get Out More KungFooBob's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by davidat19 View Post
    ouch
    I prefer the versions "Your wheelies are shit" and probably the better one for you, "Your bike is shit".

  4. #1804
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by KungFooBob View Post
    I prefer the versions "Your wheelies are shit" and probably the better one for you, "Your bike is shit".
    Double ouch.

  5. #1805
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Say Beer Can with a British accent.







    I just taught you to say Bacon in a Jamaican accent!

  6. #1806
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    My mate said Beyonce is the sexiest woman on the planet, I told him whatever floats your boat but he said no, that's buoyancy.

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  8. #1807
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Advice needed:
    My children keep finding their Christmas presents that I’ve hidden around the house. Someone suggested that I should just keep them in the attic...
    So I tried that last night, but their constant crying and whining kept me awake. All the “I’m afraid of the dark” or “I don't like it up here - there are spiders” really got on my nerves. Any other suggestions?

  9. #1808
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Taipan View Post
    Advice needed:
    My children keep finding their Christmas presents that I’ve hidden around the house. Someone suggested that I should just keep them in the attic...
    So I tried that last night, but their constant crying and whining kept me awake. All the “I’m afraid of the dark” or “I don't like it up here - there are spiders” really got on my nerves. Any other suggestions?
    Are you sure those panels didnt hit your head?

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