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Thread: Your Best Text Jokes

  1. #1921
    Should Get Out More Taipan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    If you get a text with the subject Ding Dong, don't open it. It's Jehovah Witnesses working from home!

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  3. #1922
    Should Get Out More Yorick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I am now on day 15 of this lockdown and am wondering if anyone knows any adult websites they could recommend other than:

    Xvideos
    PornHub
    Xtube
    Ass parade
    Brazzers
    xHamster
    XNXX
    YouJizz
    TastyBlacks
    HClips
    TnaFlix
    Tube8
    Spankbang
    DrTuber
    Spankwire
    KeezMovies
    Nuvid
    SunPorno
    BravoTube
    PornHD
    Eporner
    SexVid
    XXXBunker
    TheNewPorn
    Mofosex...
    PornDreamer
    X18 Xbabe
    UpdateTube
    Hdmovz
    PornRox
    PornMaki
    Pornid
    Inxporn
    TopFreePornVideos
    Slutload
    ProPorn
    FakePorn
    Pornhost
    HandjobHub
    Vpornvideos
    MyXVids
    Pornicom
    DansMovies
    Wetplace
    AdultFreex
    Fapdu
    Rude
    FreudBox
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    PornHeed
    HdPorn
    Orgasm
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    Fux Eroxia
    DeviantClip
    Xxvids
    H2porn
    ApeTube
    MetaPorn
    YourLustMovies
    ElephantTube Long
    PornerBros
    Tubegalore
    3movs Ass-Time
    HQButt
    BangBus
    BangBros
    Ghetto tube
    BrickHouseButts
    GhettoGaggers
    GloryHole


    These have gotten boring - Any help is much appreciated. Thanks.



  4. #1923
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    This is meant to be a joke thread not Public Information







    Try FakeTaxi

  5. #1924
    Should Get Out More Jody's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I had a scan on my shoulder today, I asked the doctor if I would recover fully and be able to play guitar

    he replied 'yes that will be no problem'

    I'm delighted, I couldn't play a single note before the accident !

  6. #1925
    Not Much To Do SNAFU's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Yorick View Post
    I am now on day 15 of this lockdown and am wondering if anyone knows any adult websites they could recommend other than:

    Xvideos
    PornHub
    Xtube
    Ass parade
    Brazzers
    xHamster
    XNXX
    YouJizz
    TastyBlacks
    HClips
    TnaFlix
    Tube8
    Spankbang
    DrTuber
    Spankwire
    KeezMovies
    Nuvid
    SunPorno
    BravoTube
    PornHD
    Eporner
    SexVid
    XXXBunker
    TheNewPorn
    Mofosex...
    PornDreamer
    X18 Xbabe
    UpdateTube
    Hdmovz
    PornRox
    PornMaki
    Pornid
    Inxporn
    TopFreePornVideos
    Slutload
    ProPorn
    FakePorn
    Pornhost
    HandjobHub
    Vpornvideos
    MyXVids
    Pornicom
    DansMovies
    Wetplace
    AdultFreex
    Fapdu
    Rude
    FreudBox
    AdultInc
    PornHeed
    HdPorn
    Orgasm
    PornRabbit
    MadThumbs
    Fux Eroxia
    DeviantClip
    Xxvids
    H2porn
    ApeTube
    MetaPorn
    YourLustMovies
    ElephantTube Long
    PornerBros
    Tubegalore
    3movs Ass-Time
    HQButt
    BangBus
    BangBros
    Ghetto tube
    BrickHouseButts
    GhettoGaggers
    GloryHole


    These have gotten boring - Any help is much appreciated. Thanks.


    You missed the hun.......or isnt it going now!

  7. #1926
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    We are 11 days into self-isolation and it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.

    Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.

  8. #1927
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks by. The lizard looks up and says "Hey! What are you doing? The monkey replies, "Smoking a joint, come up and join me."

    The lizard climbs up the tree and sits next to the monkey and they smoke another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and he's going to get a drink from the river.

    At the river bank the lizard is so stoned he falls in while leaning over the bank to drink. A crocodile swims over and helps the lizard to the side of the river. The croc asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains that he was smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got thirsty, and was so wasted he fell in trying to get a drink.

    The crocodile, curious, says he has to check this out. He walks through the jungle and fins the tree withe monkey in it, finishing off the joint. He looks up and says "HEY MONKEY!"

    The monkey looks down and replies "Holy shit! Duuuude, how much water did you drink?!

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  10. #1928
    Should Get Out More slowsider's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Vet jokes




  11. #1929
    Should Get Out More Pirahna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    All things bright and beautiful,
    All creatures great and small,
    All things wise and wonderful,
    The chinese eat them all.

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  13. #1930
    Should Get Out More Ant's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I text my mate asking if if after work would he like to come for a wank along the river.

    Fucking auto-correct. I meant canal.

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  15. #1931
    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    I just watched an Australian cookery show and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue?

    I thought Aussie's would usually boo meringue!

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  17. #1932
    Should Get Out More Yorick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by The Martian View Post
    I just watched an Australian cookery show and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue?

    I thought Aussie's would usually boo meringue!
    Stop !

  18. #1933
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Bwana View Post
    A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks by. The lizard looks up and says "Hey! What are you doing? The monkey replies, "Smoking a joint, come up and join me."

    The lizard climbs up the tree and sits next to the monkey and they smoke another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and he's going to get a drink from the river.

    At the river bank the lizard is so stoned he falls in while leaning over the bank to drink. A crocodile swims over and helps the lizard to the side of the river. The croc asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains that he was smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got thirsty, and was so wasted he fell in trying to get a drink.

    The crocodile, curious, says he has to check this out. He walks through the jungle and fins the tree withe monkey in it, finishing off the joint. He looks up and says "HEY MONKEY!"

    The monkey looks down and replies "Holy shit! Duuuude, how much water did you drink?!
    Oldie but a goodie

    Quote Originally Posted by slowsider View Post
    Vet jokes


    Yorick does

    Quote Originally Posted by The Martian View Post
    I just watched an Australian cookery show and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue?

    I thought Aussie's would usually boo meringue!
    Ha ha, having that one

  19. #1934
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Yorick View Post
    Stop !
    Hammer time?

  20. #1935
    Should Get Out More Yorick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Best Text Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by The Martian View Post
    Hammer time?
    This was the Yorkshire Ripper's theme tune..


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