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Thread: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

  1. #16
    Should Get Out More DefTrap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?


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    My missus this morning: 'The LiveBox uses more power than any other appliance in the house' (the estate agent, also a woman, told her this). Bless. I may ask her to make me a cup of tea with it later.

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    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    When I was 18 I went out with a girl called Sharon who was a year ish younger than me - following a stroll in the park one evening, we were sat on a bench, dusk upon us and she asked me

    "how does the sun turn into the moon at night then?"

    I shit you not!

    Ive heard some daft things from the mouths of ladies over the years, but theyve never even come close to that one

  3. #18
    Should Get Out More Reburner's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by easy now andy View Post
    my missus jumped out of bed, turned the light on and pulled the duvet off the bed. when i asked what she was doing she said 'checking for snakes'!!! when she realised she was half asleep, she told me to 'shut up' and got back into bed.
    That's quite a complement she was paying you

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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    EX Wife was thinking of buying a Black Cab as a run around with a view to exporting it to the states so she asked me why do all the Cabs have high mileage as she wanted to know where see could fine a low mileage second had one
    So I replied the same place they sell low mileage Route Masters buses and then ducked

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    Should Get Out More Fallen Angel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by Helmet View Post
    When I was 18 I went out with a girl called Sharon who was a year ish younger than me - following a stroll in the park one evening, we were sat on a bench, dusk upon us and she asked me

    "how does the sun turn into the moon at night then?"

    I shit you not!

    Ive heard some daft things from the mouths of ladies over the years, but theyve never even come close to that one
    Similar discussion with a long distant b/f...he argued that it wasn't possible to see the moon during the day and it was, in fact, another sun.

  6. #21
    Should Get Out More moth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by Skunkmiester View Post
    Is it as painful as Vogon poetry?
    Quote Originally Posted by Reburner View Post
    That's quite a complement she was paying you

    My mate Roger
    Had a ten foot todger,
    He showed it to the woman next door.
    She thought it was a snake,
    So she hit it with a rake.
    Now it's only two foot four



    The first mrs moth once asked me how people with glass eyes see through them...

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    Should Get Out More Velocette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Similar discussion with a long distant b/f...he argued that it wasn't possible to see the moon during the day and it was, in fact, another sun.
    They must have both had a Dad like me. I used to tell my kids all sorts of stuff like that. We were driving around somewhere once and all the fields had black plastic on them too help warm the soil.

    I told them we were in the part of the country were thay grow all the polythene to make bin bags.

  8. #23
    Not Much To Do brat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by McSatan View Post
    Beat this.

    Lying snuggled up together, my arms round her.

    her: Have you bought a new clock?
    me: No, why?
    her: I can hear ticking.
    me: My watch is by your ear.
    her: Oh. My watch doesn't tick.
    <moments stunned silence>
    me: That's because it's digital.
    I was very very tired.

    Quote Originally Posted by McSatan View Post
    or

    walking towards the front door, it's dark and raining.

    her: Look at that, some bastard has dumped a great big pile of bin bags outside the garden gate!
    me: <indignant> That's my fucking CX! It does NOT look like a pile of bin bags!
    It DID look like a pile of bin bags. And a very big pile at that.

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    Should Get Out More The Martian's Avatar
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    Talking Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by moth View Post
    The first mrs moth once asked me how people with glass eyes see through them...

    You might have told her about Peter Falk - the guy who played Columbo

    Well, Peter Falk has a glass eye, but in the books Columbo does not have a glass eye - which means that Peter Falks' glass eye actually plays the part of a real eye.


    Try explaining that to a woman, especially after shes had a couple of glasses of wine

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    Should Get Out More McSatan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by brat View Post
    It DID look like a pile of bin bags. And a very big pile at that.
    Well yes, I suppose I can't argue with that. And I know you are very clever normally, but you must admit, you do sometimes come out with crackers Just don't tell anyone anything that I say or do, and ruin my reputation.

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    Really Bored Lynne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    pfft!

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    Should Get Out More Anne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Similar discussion with a long distant b/f...he argued that it wasn't possible to see the moon during the day and it was, in fact, another sun.

  13. #28
    Really Bored Loz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    There's a wine advert - I forget the brand - which ends with a lovely CGI shot of a bunch of grapes growing into the shape of a heart. My wife said "how do they get them to grow like that?".

  14. #29
    Should Get Out More Skub's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by McSatan View Post
    That's my fucking CX! It does NOT look like a pile of bin bags!
    A pile of bin bags over a pile of shite.

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    Should Get Out More -AD-'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by Skunkmiester View Post
    My wife, during a minor argument when we started dateing said.

    "What's so good about going to pub anyway?"

    I just looked at her dumfounded.

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