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Thread: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

  1. #31
    Should Get Out More -AD-'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?


    TRC is primarily funded by ad revenue. If you like
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    are you watching the wire?


    no it's just all the same actors playing similar roles in a Baltimore cop drama...

  2. #32
    Not Much To Do Jung's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alex Dangerfield View Post
    are you watching the wire?


    no it's just all the same actors playing similar roles in a Baltimore cop drama...
    Who was playing me?

  3. #33
    Not Much To Do vaguelyfamiliar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by moth View Post


    The first mrs moth once asked me how people with glass eyes see through them...
    Well durrr they're made of glass!



    A few years ago there used to be an advert for indigestion tablets (IIRC) and at the end a CGI head turned to camera with the line "Suck em and see" for months my sister was convinced that Succimin C was a new type of vitamin

  4. #34
    Really Bored Sunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by easy now andy View Post
    my missus jumped out of bed, turned the light on and pulled the duvet off the bed. when i asked what she was doing she said 'checking for snakes'!!! when she realised she was half asleep, she told me to 'shut up' and got back into bed.
    That sounds familiar - Muz did the same to me, and informed me I was 'lying in my own peas' (hence the user title), and started trying to brush them out of the bed

    I am also frequently 'saved' from falling items of furniture etc around 3am, the most recent occurance involved me being held down by the face, while being told to 'stay down'

  5. #35
    Really Bored OB's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunny View Post
    That sounds familiar - Muz did the same to me, and informed me I was 'lying in my own peas' (hence the user title), and started trying to brush them out of the bed

    I am also frequently 'saved' from falling items of furniture etc around 3am, the most recent occurance involved me being held down by the face, while being told to 'stay down'
    How many times do you suspect he's actually wide awake?

  6. #36
    Should Get Out More Derek Badger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    true story, i love this one.

    bird who works with my mate steve : my bf is taking my to paris on the eurotunnel at the weekend.

    steve: cool, you been to paris before?

    bwwwmms: no. never been on the eurotunnel either. i'm very excited.

    steve: it's okay i suppose, like any other train really.

    bwwwmms: can you see the fishes out of the window?

    steve:

    bwwwmms: y'know, out of the train window when you're under the water?

    steve: you do know it's not a glass tunnel...

    bwwwmms: oh, really?

    steve: and it's under the sea bed, not through the water.

    bwwwmms: oh, really? that's not very exciting at all is it?

    steve:

  7. #37
    Should Get Out More wheelnut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Years ago we were out shopping for a new kettle.

    Went somewhere or other to buy one and took it home. She opened the box and said 'I thought this was a cordless one?'

    'It is'

    'It can't be - it's got a plug'.


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    Not Much To Do Roddy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    I mentioned to a colleague at work, whom, it has to be said, isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, that another colleague had started dating an Albanian girl. "ooh they frighten me!" she said, and when I asked what could be frightening about an Albanian girl, she replied "Their pink eyes and white hair."

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    Should Get Out More Mr Rooty Tooty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    I came home one day and walked pass my girlfriends car. It had a massive gouge out of the back bumper and down the nearside wheelarch. Said gouge was filled with white paint and orange brick dust. I got in home and she was eating some cereal and watching Animal Planet.

    "What happened to your car?"

    At this point she jumped up and went "What do you mean?" and ran to the window to look. I awaited the inevitable "Can you fix it for me?" conversation, but didn't get it.

    "Somebody reversed into me!"
    "It's got brickdust in it. You hit a wall"
    "No. Someone must have hit me in the carpark and then drove off without leaving their details"
    "Were they by any chance driving a 4 bedroom semi?"

    This led to the familiar triage of confusion, crying then shouting at me about it.

    I once moaned that the weather was crap and she earnestly pointed out that the Sun was out above the clouds, hence the weather wasn't actually, like, shit? So there.

    It's also "Out" at night time and during full eclipses, if you count "Out" as "Undertaking the mass fusion of Hydrogen into Helium".

    My mate's missus once said "Are the Romans from Romania James?".

    She's a GP.

  10. #40
    Really Bored Beckers's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Not exactly saying something stupid but...

    Mx ex wifes mobile phone stopped working working .. so she said "I need a new one"

    "No, we'll take it back as it's only a couple of months old" I says

    "Err, I don't think they will replace it" she says

    "Why not"

    "Well it got a bit damp in my pocket while I was feeding the horse"

    "Err no ..." says I "Phones don't just pack because of some mild moistness"

    After a few protestations from her I started to lose it "Come on, what really happened"

    "Well I dropped it in the horses water bucket"


    yeah, that'll do it (dopey cow)

  11. #41
    Should Get Out More Mr Rooty Tooty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunny View Post
    That sounds familiar - Muz did the same to me, and informed me I was 'lying in my own peas' (hence the user title), and started trying to brush them out of the bed

    I am also frequently 'saved' from falling items of furniture etc around 3am, the most recent occurance involved me being held down by the face, while being told to 'stay down'
    Excellent!

    My exes Dad used to dive out of bed in terror screaming my name. They had to put half a tennis ball on the corners of the bedroom cabinets after he gouged his head one particularly traumatising night.

    When quizzed he claimed to be bailing out of a Lancaster bomber.

  12. #42
    Annoying The Idiots Yorick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    My mate was teaching his wife to drive many moons ago, and she came to a junction in third.

    The car obviously stalled and she seemed confused

    When he asked why, she said. " I thought it only stalled in first"

    There's some special female logic there

  13. #43
    Should Get Out More Deer Stalker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by easy now andy View Post
    my missus jumped out of bed, turned the light on and pulled the duvet off the bed. when i asked what she was doing she said 'checking for snakes'!!! when she realised she was half asleep, she told me to 'shut up' and got back into bed.
    Didn't find the 'snake' then

  14. #44
    Should Get Out More Fallen Angel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deer Stalker View Post
    Didn't find the 'snake' then
    Only an earthworm

  15. #45
    Should Get Out More Derek Badger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does Your other half ever say things so daft it leaves you speechless?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen Angel View Post
    Only an earthworm



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