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Thread: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

  1. #1
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    Default insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    for me it's when the perforations on toilet paper don't go to the edge, and you tear a strip off the next lot of sheets.

    fucking lazy bog roll manufacturers - it should be simple

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    Should Get Out More Editor's Avatar
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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    curtains open when it's dark & shut when it's light.

    lights left on.

    Running out of lemons & parmesan.

    askew pictures

    things what have been moved from where I carefully dropped placed them

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    Should Get Out More gremlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    Quote Originally Posted by motopat View Post
    for me it's when the perforations on toilet paper don't go to the edge, and you tear a strip off the next lot of sheets.

    fucking lazy bog roll manufacturers - it should be simple
    Seperate the two-ply sheet. Take the top layer and roll it back over the roll. Perforations in-line.

    Simples.


    Piss less boiled. Who said I never contribute to this site, eh?

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    Really Bored burty's Avatar
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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    Quote Originally Posted by gremlin View Post
    Seperate the two-ply sheet. Take the top layer and roll it back over the roll. Perforations in-line.

    Simples.


    Piss less boiled. Who said I never contribute to this site, eh?
    I don't think that is the problem that motopat was referring to. But no doubt it would be useful information for someone.

    For me, on a similar loo roll theme, it's finding a new loo roll perched on top of the old used roll in the loo roll holder. Why is it so hard to change it?

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    Should Get Out More gremlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    Quote Originally Posted by burty View Post
    I don't think that is the problem that motopat was referring to. But no doubt it would be useful information for someone.

    For me, on a similar loo roll theme, it's finding a new loo roll perched on top of the old used roll in the loo roll holder. Why is it so hard to change it?
    maybe not, but well worth remembering.

    I can't stand it when the paper hangs 'wall side', i.e. backwards. I have to turn the bog roll round in the holder so the dropping roll is presented to the user. I draw the line at doing those little points on the end sheet like they do in hotels, mind.

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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    Mrs GPs apparent inability to load a dishwasher correctly.

    I say apparently because I'm thinking its actually a ploy to get me to do it (which has worked for over a decade...)

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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    Middle lane drivers.

    People who turn right at a roundabout, but don't indicate to tell you they are doing so.

    People who are driving along, and touch the brakes for no reason whatsoever.

    People who don't say thankyou when you pull in to let them pass (on-coming, country lanes etc).

    House lights being left on, ditto with dripping taps, turn it off that extra 1/8 turn to stop it, its not hard, stop being lazy.


    Most of mine are driving related.

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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    Quote Originally Posted by Editor View Post
    curtains open when it's dark & shut when it's light.

    lights left on.
    Oh yes.

    Bastards who put empty things back on shelves/in fridges. More of a work piss-boiler than at home where the culprit is easily found and flayed in a calming manner.

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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    I opened a packet of cheese the other day - the stuff where you trim off the top and then have a resealable packet.

    Not if the cuddly wuddly beary beary booing thing is binded down past the zip line


    Then just to make sure the piss is kept simmering the wife says "why have you just cut the end off of the cheese packet rather than bother to do it properly so it can be resealed..

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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    People that don't acknowledge you when you hold doors open for them.

    People that respond to mobile phone calls when you are in conversation or meetings with them.

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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    Quote Originally Posted by burty View Post
    People that don't acknowledge you when you hold doors open for them.

    People that respond to mobile phone calls when you are in conversation or meetings with them.
    One of the Directors' of a firm I do work for sometimes phones me up whilst hes still finishing a conversation with someone next to him, so I answer and get the last 10 seconds of his conversation before he acknowledges me.. which is sometimes "sorry, Ill have to call you back" and the phone going down again.

    Only started to really get to me when he did it to me four times within a couple of hours and I eventually didnt answer the call.
    I left it 10 mins before calling back and he asked "why didnt you answer the phone to me, Ive been trying to get hold of you all morning"


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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    Everything All people are idiots.

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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    People who get upset about what should be minor niggles - FFS find something worth while to get upset about.

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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    Cyclists. Why can't they just fuck off?

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    Default Re: insignificant things that rile you and boil your piss

    People in general, but specifically;

    - People who wait until they are stood at an ATM before taking another 5 minutes to find their bank card. This is also annoying when people do this at checkouts; everything is packed, but they still wait to be told the price before rummaging through their handbags to find their purse. These people are usually women.

    -People who still say 'what's your best price for cash? What the fuck were you hoping to use as currency? Biscuits?

    -eBay. Particularly people who pepper your inbox with 'what's your best price' during an obvious auction

    -people who leave the toilet roll hanging so the sheets are running away from the wall. It should be against the wall, as the paper should run smoothly over the fingers as you caress them.

    -people who make noise when they eat, speak with a mouth full of food or don't chew with their mouth closed. People who smack their chops together when eating an apple will be first up against the wall.

    -office spastics who overuse unfunny phrases such as "No, I'm sweet enough as it is" when being asked if they take sugar or "I thank you from the heart of my bottom". Colin Hunt is a cuddly wuddly beary beary boo. You're not funny, it's not even gentle humour and the only person engaged by your drivel is Margaret the 52yo admin who has such a pungent fishy-odour vaginal discharge that she's spectacularly over-compensating during any social interaction in the desperate hope that someone will at least make a pass at her that doesn't involve the war cry of "By Christ, who's been to Grimsby recently?"

    -people who ask what bike you ride and then just nod along. You know what small talk is with people who don't know anything about bikes? Tiny talk.

    "What do you ride?"

    "An XR54632-2/3.14"

    <Nods head> "yeah, I've heard about them. What colour is it and how fast does it go?"

    It should be much easier if there was a generic response:

    "What do you ride?"

    "YOUR SISTER. Now fuck off"

    -The obvious irritants that mix 'specifically' and 'pacifically' together. Wtf does 'pacifically' mean? Something to do with the Pacific Ocean? It certainly doesn't mean being precise or particular.

    -Anyone who uses the phrase 'going forward'. Anyone.

    -The overuse of the word 'literally' by the y00f of today.

    -other people talking about their children. I have children, I might occasionally talk about them, but I'm spectacularly not interested in your children or anything they have done. That means when we go down the pub, I couldn't give two fucks about how Sebastian said 'something funny' that day (he didn't, you're deluded because you're compensating your loss of liberty and spontaneous freedom by overstating the worth of something retarded your retarded kid said. Retard)

    -People in their 30s/40s who quote film/TV dialogue during a conversation.

    "wanna go for a pint?"

    "MAKE IT SO"

    "Oh ffs, nvm-i'm going to stay at home and punch myself in the face"

    Worse still are those fuckups who still try and muscle in Python quotes as often as they can. Sitting in a meeting last week, some wanker from IT during a long pause decided to start saying "Ni". He'd say it, then look around at the room expectantly. We (the room) would look back at a 43 year old with receding hairline and a pony tail who had obvious semen stains on his black jeans that he'd been trying to pass off as trousers but slept in them again after knocking one out to the Buffy boxed set, and sighed. He gave us a 'I thank you from the heart of my bottom' retort, and someone somewhere told him he looked like a gypsy's fat horse that had been wanked off with a garlic press.

    -people who can't grow proper facial hair yet insist on walking about the place with a few straggly wisps

    -motorcyclists who will not move the fuck out of the filtering channels when they are obviously slower than you.

    -car drivers who can't overtake a pushbike without waiting for there to be at least 2 miles of clear traffic.

    -men who won't wash there hands after taking a piss, then touch the door handle on their way out of the bogs. Less of a problem when they used to have paper towel dispensers, so you could just take one and wrap it around the handle. Now everywhere has those air dryers, I'm having to wait around until someone else walks into the toilets so I can time my exit. Two hours is my record

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